Some of you may not know, but I drove 8 hours on a trip that usually takes 6. Nothing bad happened. Alexis had to guide me the last leg of the trip to my destination via cell phone.
It was just . . . interesting. Let’s just say the worst part of the trip besides driving through 3 thunderstorms from Atlanta to Florida was stopping for a Subway Sub off an exit on I-65. It was somewhere between Cow Patty and the pig crossing 10 miles before the Georgiana exit.
The highlight would have been BamaSwitch standing on the side of the road thumbing for a ride. ‘-)
By then I had been driving 5 hours without a bite to eat and I had to fill up the tank with gas. There was a Burger King with a long line and a Subway Sub shop connected to the gas station where I filled up. Y’all know there’s a monopoly on gas station/Subway Sub stores, right? It’s the American Dream for the displaced Middle Easterners.
I’m not a fast food type of girl, but, in my mind, a sub was a healthier alternative to Burger King, plus there was no wait!
Little did I know.
The store had a country buffet in one corner, except there was no food, no staff, no lights. In the other corner, was a teeny tiny Middle Eastern woman who was shorter than me. I let 3 people go in front of me because I didn’t know what to order. All of it looked, bleh. I was starving, mind you. The sign said $5 for a foot long sandwich, so I figured hey, this is lunch and dinner.
Finally I ordered.
“Let’s see, a little ham, salami, lettuce, green pepper slices, no tomato, and little light mayo.
Then she threw on the bacon and cheese before she stuck it in the oven.
I said “NO BACON. Not on my sandwich.”
But it was too late. It was also the first time she looked at me. She stood with her arms akimbo with a blank look on her face that said “What?”
Meanwhile, her chaperon/gas station attendant/family member appeared from the gas station side. So what was I going to do?
I paid $8 for a $5 sub sandwich.
It was the second time she looked at me and I think she was expecting me to complain.
When I didn’t she said, “You added more things. I cut it the way you wanted, in three pieces. That’s all extras. That’s why it cost more.”
~Shrug~
I went out to the car, ate one piece of the sandwich and decided I needed to visit that bathroom before I got on the road again. It looked like a bombed out bathroom you’d find in Beirut anyway.
No toilet paper, no toilet seat, no soap. I always carry that antibacterial gel, so washing hands was not that much of a problem. But, my lily white ass and the toilet? Fik no! So I remembered why my girlfriends and I did in high school one mischievous afternoon. We peed standing up in the urinal. Not a pretty sight.
What would it hurt?
Snaps to anyone who finds an appropriate youtube music clip for this episode.
