He was there . . .
Last year, July 12 @ 2:15 pm CST, my brother died suddenly. He was a healthy, 6’4″, handsome man of 45 years, never sick a day in his life, nor knew he had a heart problem.
Over the fourth of July weekend, I made the dreaded trip home with my family to see my mother, siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephew. We hadn’t seen each other since his death.
On the first day, I went to visit P’s grave. Someone had put a home-made wooden cross, with a Father’s Day balloon still attached, next to the gravestone. The silk flowers in the perpetual vase still had color. The fescue grass over his grave was a verdant green and his resting place near the placid pond, was meticulously manicured. He would have expected no less.
That evening, we all got together, my two brothers and family, P’s wife and daughters, our mother, and I. The three of us all vied for the floor, trying to get in the last word, and poke fun at each other. It’s mayhem at it’s best, a noisy good time, as long as no one got their feelings hurt. His wife, as usual, sat quietly next to the girls, or talked to my youngest brother, who used to work with P. The girls were a little better than fine. We listened to them, amazed, at how they were coping, keeping busy with volunteering, sports, and boys. P would have been proud.
No one brought up P. We didn’t have to. His wife’s face said what was on our minds. He would have LOVED being in the thick of it. He was the middle child after all, ‘the good son.’
I pulled out my camera and began to snap photos, candid and un-posed, if possible. I got some great ones, like when my youngest brother arrived with a kitchen pot. He wanted to show us that he DID have a pot to piss in. My mother, the dark, little elf, was always somewhere in the photos.
When I got home and was sorting through the pictures, I saw the strangest thing, but, it made perfect sense. Behind one of the shots I took of my nephew, was a beautiful photo I took of my brother P at my nephew’s graduation several years before. P seemed to be peering right over his shoulder wearing the signature family smile.
© 2009, Nikita. All rights reserved.
